Fascination
by elleurs
Summary: Being re-written as Monsters, Old and New.
1. The Mission

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, otherwise, GaaSaku would be endgame (hehe)

 **Fascination**

 **Genre:** Romance, Angst, Action

 **Date last revised:** January 21, 2019

 **-0-**

"Are you listening?"

Sakura wondered what was wrong with her that made people think it was alright to leave her, to give her away, to _throw_ her away. Was she really that weak? Was she really not good enough? Is she not worthy?

 _Grounded,_ she thought as her hands balled into fists, nails digging into her palms. _I have to stay grounded._

"Yes, shishou," she finally said once she felt that her voice would not waver. "I understand." Tsunade sighed and gave her a sidelong glance.

"I don't think you do," Tsunade grumbled before motioning her student to sit down across the table from her. Sakura reluctantly sat down, and out of habit, poured her mentor a cup of sake from the bottle that was ever present on her desk. Tsunade gave her student a grateful look and took a measured sip. "This is bigger than you and me. Sunagakure is in a dangerous position and they are relying on us, their only allies, to help them. You're the only one I can trust."

"But why do I have to stay in Suna _for a year?_ " Sakura blurted out, hurt colouring her voice and finally making them crack. "I asked to be your apprentice, not to be a diplomat. I've only been your student for a year, I still have so much to learn-" Tsunade held up a hand and Sakura halted. She didn't realise that tears were already rolling down her cheeks and she wiped them away angrily.

 _I'm not strong enough to bring him back_ was left unsaid but understood by both.

"I know," Tsunade agreed. "I know that I still have much to teach you, and asking you to leave for a year is probably unwise. But this mission is something I can entrust only to you. A mere diplomat would not survive in Suna in their current political state and a mere shinobi would not understand the subtleties in political warfare." Sakura searched her mentor's face for any insincerity, but found none. There would be no way out of this one.

"What about Shikamaru?" Sakura asked, grasping at straws. "He's smarter than me and he's already Chuunin." Tsunade merely shook her head.

"Sakura, I can't fully brief you on the mission unless you accept it," she said. "But trust me when I say that it can't be Shikamaru. It _has_ to be you. The year that we spent together, it truly felt like I had a daughter of my own-" Tsunade cleared her throat, and Sakura realised for the first time that maybe she was not the only one affected by this. "But the things and skills that I taught you, they will be vital for this mission. I need you to understand that as Hokage, the reason why I'm assigning this to you is because I believe that you have the highest possible chance of success." Sakura sighed deeply and looked out of the open window. What choice did she have, really?

 **-0-**

If she knew that the client would be Gaara himself, she would never in a million years accept the mission. He frightened her, if she was being honest with herself. Even though it was over a year ago, she still shivered when she recalled the way his eyes had looked at her - cold, calculating and so inexplicably _evil_. Even when Naruto had assured her that he had changed his ways, it was hard to reconcile the image in her head to the person that Naruto talked about. It seemed like two completely different people.

"The mission is simple enough," Tsunade said as her eyes read through the scroll. "Gaara will become Kazekage in a weeks' time, and he wants protection." Sakura frowned at the word _'protection'_. He was a monster - if anything, it was everyone within a ten-mile radius of him that should be protected.

"Wait," she said, the full weight of her mentor's sentence finally hitting her. "Gaara will become the _Kazekage_? But why?" The Gaara she was familiar with was still a Gennin. Surely, there were better candidates for the position.

"Sakura," Tsunade said, resting her chin on her hand and looking at her apprentice coolly. "Who do you think suffered the most casualties during the attack in the Chuunin exams? Suna is in a very bad position at the moment. They lost a lot of manpower the day they decided to attack Konoha, and they also lost their Fourth Kazekage." Sakura chewed on her lip as she thought over her mentor's words.

"But why him?" she asked, confused. "He's unstable, he hasn't even passed the Chuunin exam - I mean, he has Shukaku sealed inside of him for Kami's sake-" She gasped as the realisation hit her. "They're making him Kazekage _because_ he possesses Shukaku?" Tsunade nodded.

"That they did," she said, leaning back in her chair. "And in doing so, they have created a double-edged sword. By having a jinchuuriki as the Kazekage, they are stating to the other villages that they shouldn't be underestimated even at their weakened state. They're using him and the title he will have as a shield for potential attacks to Suna. On the other hand…"

"They won't be able to control him," Sakura finished, recalling the chaos that ensued during the Chuunin exams. Tsunade nodded approvingly.

"That's where we come in," she said, glancing at the mission scroll once again. "Gaara wants someone to help him control Shukaku during the first year of his reign. He seems to think that most of the Suna council are plotting for his resignation once the threat of attacks from the other villages are gone. They'll be waiting for him to slip up with his control on the bijuu and use it as evidence that he is unfit to rule."

"Why should we help him?" Sakura asked. "Wouldn't it benefit Konoha more to _not_ accept this mission?" Her mentor shook her head.

"Konoha has suffered losses as well," she reminded her student. "Gaara has promised us the continued alliance of Sand should he pass the first year of his ascension as Kazekage. However, he can't promise where the alliance of the Suna Council lies should they successfully get him off the position." She snorted. "I've got to hand it to the kid, he seems to know how to play the game." Sakura silently agreed. Framing the mission in that way, it seemed almost impossible to decline what he presented them with.

"I still don't see how this mission best suits me, shishou," she said, her patience wearing thin.

"He's interested in finding a way to sleep without wakening Shukaku," Tsunade said hesitantly, smiling apologetically at her student. Sakura stared at her mentor, shocked.

"Shishou, how long have you known about this?" Sakura asked slowly through gritted teeth. Tsunade held up her hands in surrender.

"I've received the mission a few weeks ago," she admitted. Sakura fumed.

"So that's why you've had me read on insomnia and research sleeping pills these past few weeks!" she said, eyes narrowing into slits as she pointed an accusing finger at her mentor. Tsunade laughed at her student's antics.

"But you can't deny that you would be perfect for this mission, no?" her mentor said, giving her a cheeky smile before turning serious once more.

"There _is_ another reason why I want you to take this mission," Tsunade said, glancing at the closed door before rummaging under her desk and taking out a scroll to give to her student. Sakura glanced at the name of the scroll and looked up, confused.

"Shishou?" she asked. "Why are you-?" Tsunade held up a finger to her lips.

"I want you to read the scroll and update it with relevant information during your stay in Suna," she said grimly. Sakura glanced at the scroll in her hands and quickly pocketed it. "Get your affairs in order. We will be leaving for Sunagakure in a week's time for Gaara's Kazekage Ascension Opening Ceremony." Sakura let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. It all felt too real now.

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

 **-0-**

 **Author's Notes:** Feels good to be back. I've always wanted to write a multi-chaptered GaaSaku fic and I finally decided to do it! I badly need a beta, please message me if you're interested.

Reviews would make my day.


	2. The Problem

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, otherwise, GaaSaku would be endgame. Damn, I love this pairing.

 **Fascination**

 **Genre:** Romance, Angst, Action

 **Date last revised:** January 30, 2019

Special thanks to _Saskiel_ and _Nanami_ for the wonderful reviews! I appreciate it.

 **-0-**

The Kazekage office was quiet save for the occasional sigh and the scratching of pen on paper. If anyone were to look in, they would see Gaara poring over mission reports and official scrolls late into the night, with only the lamp and the moon giving the room just enough light to allow him to read.

It has been a few months since he begun his preparation to become Kazekage, and the paperwork was the first thing that he had been introduced to. Truth be told, spending hours reading mission reports was boring and most of the time, utterly pointless, but Gaara did not mind the work. One of the advantages of hardly sleeping was that he had a lot of time on his hands, and he found that at least when he was doing office work, his mind was not drifting traitorously to killing.

If his father could see him now, Gaara was sure that he would be rolling in his grave. Being a Kazekage was not exactly a dream he had envisioned for his youngest son. It definitely wasn't something Gaara thought of as well, but yet, here he was - reading official documents and making notes on how to improve a trade deal to one of the smaller villages in the East.

The trade deal between Sunagakure and Toro no Satohad been an old and outdated one, dating back since the founding of Sunagakure itself. Gaara squinted as he read a copy of the deal - it seemed as if the First Kazekage had scammed the village, and now the current council wanted to re-establish the terms of their trade. His predecessors had neglected the trade deal negotiations until it was too late and now it fell on him to fix the problem.

Idly, he wondered if he was truly up to the task of being Kazekage. Killing people was easy (and his favourite method of getting what he wanted) but diplomacy was another thing altogether. It did not come naturally to him, and it was one of the harder things to grasp when he started preparing to be Kazekage.

There was also, of course, the elephant in the room. People still feared and hated him. Most people doubted his capabilities, and he couldn't blame them. After all, two years ago, he was hellbent on killing everyone to reaffirm his existence in the world. He had craved the warm blood of his enemies as he mercilessly killed them, the smell of death that clung to his sand afterwards, the screams and cries of those who were too weak to be _alive_ -

He shook his head, throat parched. He licked his lips and he swore he could taste blood. If not for the sand swirling against his feet, agitated, he looked sane. Normal, even. He laughed, sand swirling faster.

"So easy to just kill the entire council," he murmured as he stared at the trade deal. If he left now, he could still reach Toro no Sato before dawn, kill the council elders and be back by breakfast. He laughed even harder, hand clutching his head.

"I should just kill them, hm?" he said, his voice not entirely his own. "Even just one council member, so they know not to mess with _me_ -"

"Gaara?" His head snapped up, seeing Temari looking at him worriedly. The sand fell down unceremoniously at his feet and he straightened up. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he replied, schooling his features. It would not do to have his sister worry about him. It was bad enough that the Suna council elders were unsure of his stability to be Kazekage. He didn't want Temari to doubt him, too. He had great plans for Suna, after all. "Why are you still here?"

Temari looked uncomfortable, and she couldn't look him in the eye.

"It's late, and your first ceremony is tomorrow," she said, wringing her hands. "Have you hunted?" He hummed.

"Not yet," he said, turning back on the trade deal. Temari sighed.

"I know you've been trying to change, Gaara," she said, exasperated. "But Shukaku is not something that you can just _ignore_. He's a part of you-" his hand twitched.

"Is that your way of calling me a monster, sister?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. Temari shook her head quickly.

"I'm sorry, that's not what I meant at all," she said, bowing low. "I only mean that you need to hunt soon. The ceremony…You need to be able to control yourself." He stared at his sister, her back still bowing before him.

"Do I look sane, sister?" he asked. Temari chanced a glance at him.

"When you call me sister, it makes my skin crawl," she said, keeping his stare. He smiled. What a foolish girl.

"I'll remember that for next time, _Temari_ ," he said, chuckling. "And you're right, I haven't hunted in a week. Prepare a missing-nin for me. I might as well do some interrogation before my meal."

"By your leave, Shukaku-sama."

 **-0-**

Many times, Gaara had questioned his own sanity. There were moments where he was completely himself, but there were also some instances where he can notice the influence of Shukaku.

It worried him when he found a gap in his memory of last night, because that could only mean one thing.

"Was I myself?" he asked Temari as soon as he found her. She was in the middle of ordering a group of genin to the front gates to welcome visitors. She couldn't look at him.

"You must have dozed off while working," she replied. "It's fine, no one else was in the building." He searched his sister's face.

"Did he do anything to you?" he asked. "Did he hurt you?" Temari turned to him and gave him a brittle smile.

"You- _He_ didn't," she replied after a moment's silence. "It just took me a while to realise who I was talking to last night." Gaara closed his eyes, his sister's words a punch in the gut. Shukaku was getting better at integrating himself. How long before he fully takes over Gaara's thoughts?

"Don't worry about it, Gaara," Temari said kindly. Gaara didn't really need her pity. It irked him. As soon as the thought entered his head, he winced. Was that his thought or was it influenced by Shukaku? It was getting harder to tell these days.

"Have the Hokage in my office when they arrive," he replied instead, ignoring his sister's words. Temari nodded before heading towards the front gates. He didn't fail to notice how eager she was to leave his side.

Sand swirled by his ankles, agitated.

 **-0-**

 **Author's Notes:** Alright, that's the second chapter done! Flexing my writing muscles after they haven't been used in a long time was super tiring, if I'm being honest. This chapter was supposed to be a lot more light-hearted, but I like how this chapter turned out. It has a darker tone which I prefer. Again, I'm looking for a beta, so please message me if you'd like to beta this story!

There's also a poll on my profile about the rate of update in this story. I can either update weekly with shorter chapters or irregularly but with longer content, so please let me know!

Oh, and before I forget, if you guys have a better idea for the summary, let me know as well! I've had problems with summaries since forever, haha.

Reviews would be loved and super appreciated!


	3. The Meeting

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, otherwise, there would be no time-skip and we can see some Gaara character development!

 **Fascination**

 **Genre:** Angst, Action

 **Date last revised:** February 1, 2019

Special thanks to _Nanami, kazuyaryo_ and _fanofthisfiction_ for the reviews! I appreciate it. And special thanks to FH for reading over this chapter and for his input.

 **-0-**

Sakura stared at the boy in front of her, merely thirteen years old and about to be the Godaime Kazekage. He stood in the middle of the office, regarding her and Tsunade with speculative eyes. Those same eyes that had last looked at her with the intent to kill now looked like-

"Are you wearing makeup?" Sakura blurted out before she could help herself. Tsunade glanced at her, surprised at her outburst.

"Sakura!" Tsunade said, horrified. "That's no way to talk to the-"

"It's fine," Gaara said, indulging in Sakura's question. He regarded her with his heavy stare and Sakura tried her best not to fidget under his gaze. "Here in Sunagakure, we regard beauty as a sign of holiness. Since I am to be the Kazekage, the closest thing to Kami here, I have to look my best in order to assure them that I am not a monster about to lead them to destruction. I had to line my eyes with kohl, and put cream on my face to make my skin paler. Before that I had to bathe in a bath of milk, honey and salt. Such things are a ritual all Kazekage must endure, but for me, it holds more weight."

Sakura was suddenly aware of the sweat that clung to her face, the sand that embedded themselves on her skin since their week-long trip to Suna and her clothes that desperately needed washing. She wished that she had been given time to shower and get changed before meeting Gaara. Even though they were around the same age, the air around him was different. He carried himself with quiet confidence, a far cry from the Chuunin exams, when he looked about ready to kill everyone around him. For some reason, she had expected him to be taciturn, like Sasuke. She was pleasantly surprised that he answered her question, and even more so that he answered it honestly and at length - after all, males don't usually admit to doing something as feminine as applying makeup.

"And did that help?" Tsunade asked mockingly, snapping Sakura out of her thoughts. Gaara shook his head.

"Unfortunately, Shukaku cannot be beaten, even with the potent combination of honey, milk and salt," Gaara said. Sakura wasn't sure whether he had just uttered a joke, but refrained from laughing, just in case. "But that's why I called you here today."

"Ah, yes, the mission," Tsunade said. "I'd like you to tell us more about Shukaku and your relationship with him." Gaara nodded his head and motioned for them to sit down before taking his place behind the desk. He closed his eyes for a moment and heaved a quiet sigh.

"This is all classified information?" he asked, his piercing gaze focused on Tsunade. Her mentor nodded. Gaara looked worried as he glanced at Sakura but did not press further.

"Shukaku has always been a separate entity in my head," Gaara started, eyes staring at something beyond them. "When I was younger, it was comforting to have someone know me so well. Whenever he talked to me, I didn't feel alone. When I hated the world, he gave me a purpose. He was the closest thing to family for me. It didn't matter if I was alone, because Shukaku was there to guide me on my path. When I lost to Naruto, I realised that I was wrong all along. My way of life, my beliefs - all of that had been fed to me by Shukaku, in order to make me more reliant on him. He could continue to give me power, and I could continue validating my purpose." Gaara shook his head.

"I'm trying to be better," he continued, trying to reassure himself. "I _know_ I am. I need to be. But Shukaku, since I've stopped responding to his encouragements, he's resulted in more underhanded methods. If I let my control slip for even a moment, he influences my thoughts. It's gotten to the point that I'm starting to doubt myself."

Sakura felt pity for the red-head in front of them. Here he was, still a child, battling with a demon inside his head while about to be entrusted with the heaviest duty of them all. A Kage gives his life to the village, but at thirteen years old? _He has not yet lived_ , Sakura thought sadly.

"How do we know that we're talking to Gaara right now?" Tsunade pressed. Sakura stared at her shishou, shocked. _Who's the one being rude now?_

"I assure you I am currently of sound mind," Gaara replied, not at all affronted. "Last night, Shukaku had been fed, so he should be satisfied for a few more days." Sakura shivered at the clinical way that he talked about killing. Sakura saw Tsunade's hands clench into fists but her expression did not change.

"Shukaku is not against me becoming Kazekage," Gaara said grimly. "This is cause for concern. He knows my thoughts, but I am not privy to his. I don't know what he's planning, but I need to be stronger mentally. Otherwise, I don't know how long before he fully integrates himself with my consciousness." Tsunade took a deep breath.

"Why would you want to be Kazekage if you're not fully in control of your bijuu?" Tsunade asked. "I understand that you have to follow the Suna Council's orders, but you're more than capable to decline their request. From a medical standpoint, I don't think you're mentally fit to rule Sunagakure at all." Sakura's eyes had widened to saucers at her mentor's words, and the tension in the room was almost suffocating as Gaara leveled her shishou with an intense gaze.

"I am the most suitable candidate," he said after a tense silence. "Make no mistake, Hokage-sama, I know Shukaku is using me. But I am also using him. Because of him, I have the power to save Suna should she require it. For me, this is enough reason to co-exist, and to lose a part of myself. I don't want pity because this is a choice that I made, and I am fully aware of the consequences. What I want is a solution to a problem. Now, the question - will you accept the mission?"

 **-0-**

 **Author's Notes:** I am really worried about this chapter mainly because of Gaara's characterisation. I realised that a lot of GaaSaku fics I read paint him as a stoic person, but after re-reading Gaara's fight with Kimimaro and his monologue before the finals in the Chuunin exams, I realised that he's actually not. In fact, I'd say he's very eloquent with his words. So I hope I managed to convey that in this chapter. I wanted it to be a bit lighthearted, but it seems like I only managed it in the first part haha. I'll have to do a better job next time.

The more I try to write, the more I realise the depth of writing which I'm missing. I really want to do this story justice and I hope I can show you the story that's been in my mind for about four years now. I still need a beta, if anyone is interested.

Reviews would be appreciated because it really fuels my writing!


	4. The Impression

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, otherwise, there would be more chapters with Gaara in it.

 **Fascination**

 **Date last revised:** February 6, 2019

Special thanks to _Saskiel, kazuyaryo, DetyDuns_ and _kayna96_ for the support! I appreciate it.

 **-0-**

Gaara knew that divulging his mental state to Tsunade probably wasn't the wisest idea, but he had to know that she would be up to the task. He could feel his control loosening in the past few months, and it was only a matter of time before Shukaku would surface and completely take over. The lack of sleep, the constant mental battles he waged, all of this was taking a toll on his psyche, more than he'd like to admit. It always felt like he's on the edge of a precipice, just one push away from falling into the abyss.

"I didn't say we wouldn't accept the mission," Tsunade said, snapping him from his reverie. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Is it possible, then?" he pressed. "Can a sleeping antidote be possible to sedate Shukaku?" Tsunade looked at the girl next to her expectantly, and Gaara followed suit. Something about her seemed familiar.

"It _may_ be possible," the pink-haired girl said slowly, squirming in her seat. "There are written accounts of sleeping elixirs that can sedate even larger summoned animals, but to find the right dosage without causing harm to the intended user will take a lot of trial and error." Gaara nodded. "There are side-effects, of course, but I'm assuming with the… the bijuu sealed inside you that it wouldn't matter much. The problem is…" Gaara watched as the girl stood up from her seat and approached him, deep in thought. She reached out a hand towards him and his sand shot out in defense.

"Yes, I thought so," she murmured, brows furrowing as she withdrew her hand and sat back down. "It was the same in the Chuunin exams - no one could touch you." It was true. Ever since Yashamaru had died, his sand had been antagonistic, lashing out at everyone who dared to approach him. Aside from getting attacked by Lee and Naruto, Gaara had been bereft of physical touch. Not that he cared, for between his Kazekage training and the constant battle of wills with monster within him, there were more pressing matters to attend to.

"The sand moves independent of my will," he said, frowning. "I can try to exercise control on them, but it would be difficult - they have a life of their own."

"Not a problem," Tsunade said, standing up. "Sakura here will be assigned as a diplomat of Konoha in Suna. She will remain for the duration of your first year as Kazekage, so she'll have plenty of time to figure out a solution." Gaara glanced at the pink-haired girl again. He was surprised that she would be the one assigned for the mission, as he was expecting someone older with more experience. But if Hokage-sama herself had chosen her for the task, then maybe she was more than capable of fulfilling it. Still…

"Will it be alright for you to stay here for a year?" he asked Sakura. She seemed surprised at being addressed and hastily stood up, bowing low.

"It would be an honour, Kazekage-sama," she said slowly, tasting the words on her tongue before trying them again. "It would be an honour."

"Stand," he said, and she righted herself before him. "Suna extends its warmest welcome to you, Sakura-san." Her eyes blazed with determination and with fear, and suddenly, Gaara remembered her, as vividly as if their first encounter had only happened yesterday.

He remembered the kunai she clutched with her shaking hands, her tear-stained cheeks, her body trembling with terror at the sight of him. She was the girl Uzumaki Naruto fought to protect.

However, as he took in her form, he came to a quick conclusion - she was nothing special.

 **-0-**

Sunagakure, unlike Konohagakure, was a hidden village steeped in tradition. It had been his first assignment after passing the Chuunin exams to familiarise himself with them - there were rituals to be observed, festivals to be held and prayers to be uttered for every occasion.

The ascension to Kazekage was no exception. In fact, it observed the most tedious traditions that Sunagakure had decided to keep since its inception. Truly, there was something to be said for the narcissism of his ancestors.

There were five festivals, twelve rituals and prayers scattered throughout the Kazekage's first year in the position. It was ridiculous, but Gaara was in no position (yet) to question them.

After all, he thought grimly, he was a product of tradition as well.

Shukaku was a beast bestowed to Sunagakure, he remembered vividly from one of the texts he had read. To utilise the beast to the fullest potential, a host must be prepared from the offspring of the strongest shinobi.

"Gaara-sama," a housemaid said timidly, pulling Gaara out of his thoughts. "We prepared the white robes for you to change into for the Purification Walk." She bowed deeply before skittering away, feet stumbling in her haste.

The Purification Walk was not part of the twelve rituals. It was a ritual borrowed from the capital of Kaze no Kuni, created by civilians that had never met a shinobi, let alone a jinchuuriki. The Purification Walk meant that he had to travel from the outskirts of Suna all the way to the center of the village, barefoot, while all of its residents throw salt before his path.

He was expected to let the salt dig into the soles of his feet to rid of evil spirits, to let the burning sand remind him of the duties he will undertake as he reached the heart of the village which he will soon claim as his own.

No doubt Shukaku would be cackling at the absurd notion that _salt_ would be his downfall, but Gaara, as Kazekage, must be the first to uphold and observe these traditions. He also knew the reason why the Suna Council had insisted on this thirteenth ritual - the people still feared him. It was an unspoken fact that everyone in Suna knew someone who had died by his hands. They do not trust him, but this ritual would put the entire population of Suna within his range, within _his mercy._

Gaara stared at himself in the mirror after he had donned the robes. They were colour of purest white, the sleeves so long that they nearly brushed the ground. His eyes stood out even more with the black kohl contrasting with his pale skin. If not for the kanji on his forehead, he would be the picture of holiness, truly worthy to be the Godaime Kazekage, the closest thing to a Kami in their village.

And wasn't a Kami merciful?

 **-0-**

 **Author's Notes:** And another chapter done! It feels like a long time since I updated, but probably not, haha. In that time, I realised that by comparing myself to other writers, I was losing the motivation to write (since I felt like I couldn't write as well as them), so since then, I've decided to stop comparing myself and to just write the story that I wanted to write. That still doesn't stop me from admiring the prose of other writers. I also think that my prose had slightly changed from the last chapter, I just hope that it's becoming better, not worse!

Gaara in this chapter is growing nicely as a character, but I hope I'm not making him too ooc too quickly, please let me know if he has. It was really fun exploring his thoughts, and seeing how he thinks in general. At the moment, he has no interest in Sakura, aside from the fact that she reminded him of Yashamaru _that one time_ , haha.

We're still in the early stages of the story. I love love love writing exposition, researching about the characters and about the settings. Festivals and such are needed for those GaaSaku moments, so I'mma set them up now, lol.

Thank you for reading, and please leave a review! It really gives me the motivation to write.

Have a great day!


	5. MOVED TO ANOTHER STORY! Please read

Hi everyone! Elleurs, here. If you're following this story, just letting you know that it will be rewritten. I have uploaded it as a new story (Monsters, Old and New). If you're still interested in following this story, I suggest you also follow that one! Just to give you a taste, this is part of the first chapter:

After his fight with one Uzumaki Naruto, Gaara dared himself to hope. It was a foreign feeling – hope seemed too fragile, too pure for someone like him. And yet, hope he did. His whole life, he had lived for himself, to satisfy himself and the monster inside of him. But maybe it was not too late to change who he was. Maybe he could be someone who was loved by others.

 _Impossible,_ Shukaku whispered traitorously. _You, who have killed countless lives, wishes to be loved? Being feared suits you far better._

But Naruto had done it, had he not? They were the same, and yet he was not shunned. He was not feared. He was loved. How did he do it?

 _The two of you were never the same,_ cackled Shukaku. _You have been a killer since birth. Do not deny your true self! You love the smell of carnage and blood. You love the screams of the helpless…_

"No," Gaara groaned, his sand swirling restlessly by his feet. "You're wrong..."

 _Lies!_ Shukaku roared, causing Gaara's headache to worsen. _To kill is all you know. You think you can change? Only the weak rely on others!_

But Naruto had beaten Shukaku, had he not? He clung to that thought as he pushed his bijuu back into the recesses of his mind. Naruto had become stronger because he wanted to protect others. Was that the key to be loved? To be strong?

No. If strength was the determining factor, then he should have been the most loved in all of Sunagakure. He had no doubt in his power.

But if it was not strength, then what was it?

Shukaku's taunts echoed in his mind. Perhaps he was right. There was no hope for someone like him. He had lived too long in the darkness. To shine as brightly as Uzumaki Naruto seemed impossible.

And yet, hope was a strange thing. It was not easily discouraged. It persisted, and Gaara found himself yearning.

What was it like? To be loved, to be cherished? Was he really so bad? Was there no hope for him? Why won't people love him? Why were they so cruel?

 _Even if it's just one person, please…_

His sand crashed against each other like waves on the sea. He was not weak! He did not need others! He did not need anyone!

He felt something trickle down his cheeks. How long has it been since he last cried? Like a dam, emotions he had repressed came crashing past, and an ache persisted in his chest, almost too painful to bear.

 _I want to be loved._

 _Please, even if it's just one person…_

 _I'm not a monster._

 _Please._

 _Please!_

He howled, clutching his chest, tears running down his face. It was hard to think straight as emotions seemed to consume him. Anger, hurt, loneliness, it coalesced into such deep pain that he could barely breathe. Shukaku resurfaced, cackling as Gaara felt his control slip.

 _Yes,_ roared Shukaku. _Kill those who denied you love! Kill those who hurt you! Spare no one!_

Gaara screamed at the top of his lungs, clutching his head. His knees buckled at Shukaku's power and he dropped to the ground. His hands clutched at the sand swirling around him, and he realised that the beginnings of the transformation was starting.

 _I will help you,_ Shukaku coaxed. _We will pass judgement! Only blood will atone for their sins!_

"SHUT UP!" he roared as he tried to retain what little sanity he had left. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" He squeezed his eyes shut and willed Shukaku away. His whole body shuddered at the effort and sand swirled and raged all around him. He forced his mind to clear, wrestling back his control from the bijuu, battling for his sanity.

Finally, after minutes that seemed like hours had past, he opened his eyes. His hand was slowly turning back to normal. The tears had dried on his cheeks. Slowly, he stood up, determination flaring in his eyes at his small victory.

Naruto had beaten Shukaku, and so would he.

He would become a person worth loving.

I hope you enjoyed reading! The full chapter can be found on my new story, "Monsters, Old and New". Thanks for your continued support! Take care of yourselves.


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